‘Ride me all day for £3′ bus advert ‘outrageous’, says Sally Bercow
The wife of the House of Commons Speaker John Bercow has hit out at a South Wales bus company’s advert, which depicted a naked young woman holding a sign suggesting she could be ridden all day for only...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Schoolboy poised for historic walk to school attempt
Eight-year-old Nigel Williams from Maidenhead will tomorrow step into his family’s history books when for the first time he will attempt to walk alone along the three hundred-metre route from his home...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Dagenham’s cultural heritage ‘safe in ISIS hands’
Scholars say that Dagenham’s cultural heritage and priceless artefacts are probably safe should the so-called Islamic State (ISIS) one day take control of the town. ‘It’s a great relief to know that...
View ArticleOsborne to sell his own grandmother
Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne is to sell his own grandmother to help reduce the deficit, according to a Treasury spokesman. The move follows Osborne’s announcement that he intends selling...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tony Blair not yet ready to buy a house in Iraq
Former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair says he is not yet ready to buy a house in Iraq. Known for his portfolio of properties in prestigious locations such as London, Buckinghamshire and the upmarket...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Family says Newquay holiday arguments amongst best ever
A family which has just returned from a caravan holiday in Newquay say it was the best holiday they’ve ever had, thanks to the family rows during their fortnight’s break. ‘I can honestly say that,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Nobel Prize for Physics awarded to part-time PC World assistant
A sixteen-year-old part-time assistant at PC World is the surprise winner of this year’s Nobel Prize for Physics. Joe Ward from Northampton was awarded the prize in recognition, say the Nobel...
View ArticleTrump look-a-like refused entry to Waitrose
A Donald Trump look-a-like has been banned from shopping at a Herefordshire branch of Waitrose. ‘When this gentleman visited our store on Saturday,’ said manager Bob Williams, ‘some of our shoppers...
View ArticleGarage forecourt flowers still best Valentine Day buy, say guys
The traditional bouquet – or just bunch – of flowers for Valentine’s Day from garage forecourts is still the best buy, say most guys interviewed on their way home from the pub. ‘I think it’s the cool...
View ArticleNew £10 note to feature cauliflowers instead of Jane Austen
The new polymer £10 note to be issued in September will carry pictures of vegetables instead of Jane Austen, the Bank of England has announced. The move follows complaints from vegans and some...
View ArticleDude visiting HMV store doesn’t quite get CD concept
Eighteen-year-old Jonathan Meeks is still recovering from his visit to an HMV store where he was confronted with ‘shelves of CDs’. ‘I just couldn’t get my head around it,’ he said, head actually still...
View ArticleMay guarantees access to ‘nostalgia market’ after Brexit
Prime Minister Theresa May has promised that after Brexit the UK will still have access to plentiful supplies of nostalgia. ‘Some Remainers have suggested that after Brexit, Britain will be poorer,...
View ArticleCouple plan ‘holiday of a lifetime’ outside their car
With spring in the air, Brenda and Bert Simmons are preparing for what will be for them the holiday of a lifetime. ‘We usually get in the car and drive down to the beach car park and enjoy the views...
View Article95-year-old Greek-born German ‘Duke’ may have to leave post-Brexit Britain
An eccentric but harmless 95-year-old German-Greek man who has been married to his 90-year-old British wife and resident here for seventy years may have to leave Britain after Brexit, it has emerged....
View ArticleNuttall pledges to have six more goes at becoming an MP
UKIP leader Paul Nuttall has promised his party that he is set to emulate Nigel Farage and have six more attempts at becoming an MP, partly due to how much he had enjoyed the experience of standing in...
View ArticleElderly living in fear of EU blitzkrieg
Many elderly people who voted to leave the EU are living in fear of EU blitzkrieg attacks should the Brexit negotiations end in failure. Apprehension has grown as Article 50 trigger day approaches and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Rioters denounce ‘Americanisation’ of British way of rioting
British rioters have hit out at what they see as an unwelcome transatlantic influence on the traditional English way of looting and causing affray. ‘It’s another deplorable Americanisation of our...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Bomb disposal engineers to help elderly switch on central heating
The government is deploying crack army bomb disposal units to help Britain’s elderly switch on their central heating this winter. Fred (86) and Ethel (85) Wilkinson said they’ve been trying since...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Plans for Thatcher statue slammed by UK’s existing statues
A plan to erect a statue of Baroness Thatcher in her home town of Grantham has been greeted with stony-faced disapproval by most of the UK’s other statues. The statue of Winston Churchill in Parliament...
View Article‘Tory Bastard’ gene isolated
A gene that predisposes someone to become a Tory Bastard has been isolated by researchers at the Genome Institute. ‘Anyone carrying the gene’, explained Dr James Wilson,’ will exhibit Tory bastard...
View Article
